Thanks for the information, it helps give a better picture.
We can't make people love us. All we can do is become the most attractive (not just in looks) as possible, and the best person we can be. If that is not good enough or isn't what our spouse wants, then why chase after them?
The wayward wife wants to feel free and live a little wild or risky, compared to maybe their former behavior. If you want to attract her, you cannot initiate contact. Almost anything you do, at this point, will appear as pursuit. That is the biggest thing that turns off a WW, for her H to pursue her. She likes for other men to hit on her, just not her H.
Even if she contacts you, you cannot afford to show your excitement or too much interest in her or she'll turn away more. It's really crazy, but you can't treat her like she's your wife, and I doubt you would take that stuff from just any girlfriend. Am I right?
So, no contact right now. Next, protect yourself financially! This girl will ruin you b/c she's already said she doesn't care. Take it as a warning. Get yourself covered and separate your accounts, CC's, property, etc. It wouldn't hurt to seek legal advice, just to know where you stand.
Get a life! That means to make new friends, go places, get involved, and get a new social life. None of this should include her friends or part of her life. GAL is key to getting through this pain. You may have to shove yourself out of the door, but do it for your sake. Do not wait around hoping she'll show up.
She must taste life without you in it. She must see you unavailable to her. You can't rescue her, be there for her, if she reaches out.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
