Heather, I do understand how you feel, but your parents will not change and in their eyes, they may very well think that they've helped you quite a bit over your life time and now think that you are a woman in your 30's/40's who should be quite capable of taking care of yourself and not expect her parents to come to the rescue each and every time things don't go the way that you had hoped.
You continue to "expect" them to be there to help you, i.e., financially or bail you out of whatever comes along. Maybe they are tired of doing it and besides, don't you owe both your father and your mother money? Maybe they would have been more willing to help you had you repaid them in a timely fashion, i.e., even if it were only $20 dollars month. You can't continue to take and take from people and then "expect" them to come to your aid. People get tired of this type of behavior, i.e., even parents. You should know how that feels because Matt has taken from you so many times and given nothing in return.
Heather, I'm not putting you down here, but from where I'm sitting, I can see both sides and do understand where you and your parents are coming from. It's not about how much money they have or spend, because it is their money to do with what they want and they don't need to justify what they are doing w/their money and most importantly, they don't have to share it w/you or other family members at this time. No one knows what they have stated in their wills and that could be when you and the other family members will get your fair shares, but right now it's theirs and they will decide whether to help a family member or not. It's about them wanting you to stand on your own two feet and not rely on them to bail you out. They want you to be accountable for your actions, learn to budget and learn how to find the answers to your daily trials and tribulations on your own.
I think your parents have been there to help you quite a bit since Matt left. You need to sit down and think about it...your mother has come to your rescue several times, i.e., trip to North Carolina, using her credit card to help you last September when you need help money wise with the place you are currently living in and I think she's also loaned you some money or used her credit card for something you needed. Your father set aside money for your daughter's college and you used it for your divorce and something else and didn't tell him what you did, therefore, your daughter in a fit of anger told him, which in turn, annoyed him because you weren't honest w/him yourself. Your parents have helped you out whether you want to acknowledge it or not. It's not their job to continue to help you out of financial situations as you are now a grown woman and have a job that pays well, as well as the support payments are now coming in. They should be supportive and listen and offer solutions and provide moral support...but they aren't the ATM.
I'm sorry if I have overstepped myself, but it's time to accept the fact that your parents aren't going to continue to provide financial aid to you. You continue to "expect" them to act a certain way and they won't, hence you get disappointed all over again and get angry and frustrated w/them. Please, please stop expecting them to step up to the plate...they aren't going to do so. Have you ever given any thought that maybe you need to change the way that you interact w/them. Have you tried to DB them? The dynamics of the interactions you have w/them may never change, but you, and only you, can change the way that you interact w/them. Sometimes it only takes one to change those dynamics...will that be you?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
