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edz Offline
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Hi Toots

Yes sounds like its been a good one with an exciting day ahead tomorrow.

As to H, it's certainly one of the most challenging options to do nothing but it may be the best course for a while insofar as contact anyway, as always be prepared look at your options and go with what you think is right.

Have a great day tomorrow

(((((Toots)))))


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Originally Posted By: Toots
Twin, that's very kind - thank you. How are things going with you these days my friend? It's a bank holiday today in the UK, and a quietish day for me, which I don't mind. I've been out shopping, made a nice lunch, done some work at a coffee shop, and I'm off to Mum-sit in an hour or so.

I officially start my new job tomorrow, so that will be a busy one. Then I'm out at a fashion show with my ladies social group Wed eve - looking forward to that...

Hope everyone is doing well today xx


Thanks for asking Toots, I actually should post an update/get some feedback. A lot has changed and I guess I'm just trying to take it day by day. The kids are GREAT.


Me: 35 husband:39
Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage
Twins 5 (boy/girl)
Daughter 3
Affair bomb 2/27/14
He moved in with ow 3/13/14
OW kicked him out 6/15/14
4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction



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edz Offline
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Hi Toots

dont forget to let us know how the first day went, I bet you were great smile

Cheers
Edz


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
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gan Offline
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Thinking of you, Toots. Must be close to your lunch break. Hope the day has been going well so far!


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
Joined: Oct 2014
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Sotto Offline OP
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Thanks for the good wishes guys! Today went fine, thank you very much. I'll be WFH tomorrow and then back up there Mon/Tues of next week. I got to see a couple of their sites today, and met some new people, so I'm finding my way around. My boss and I are meeting next week to agree some plans for the coming six months.

No other news really. Nothing from H since my email in response to his 'I think we should D' email. When I think of him, I just feel a bit - bleugh - cross and aggrieved at having been fired in favour of an aspirational 'new family.' I'll maybe punch some pillows at some point. Otherwise I'm doing fine..

Hope my lovely DB friends are all doing well xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Relieved?

I am so very thrilled for you.

Never mind that sit on the fence H, I hope he gets the right staples!

In the right places.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Hi Toots. Glad today was a good one Re your H , while I understand the anguish of waiting , my advice would be to relax back and let tiime do its thing Your H can only live in his fantasy world for so long. His email showed his thoughts on you as a person and that is now clear. What he's looking for is. Not realistic He is not 25 anymore. Time will show him his path and I'm of the belief that Toots will have to be patient which is incredibly hard to do but is possible

Just my thoughts Toots. , take care. Rd. xx

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Thanks V and RD... smile

V - maybe that has been the problem all along - the wrong staples!

RD, thank you. The thing is, I don't even know what to believe from him at this point. I try just not to believe anything all that much, but of course things do go round in my mind.

If I follow the track of his thoughts on me as a person - he loves me, I'm beautiful and the best to be M to - it seems bizarre that he would want us to D. Why would you want to do that? But then I go back to the 'Men in Midlife Crisis' book - "there will be an urgent need to regress if you feel you have missed out on something - and the M will never win out against that" - it makes more sense.

Anyway, best not to wonder. WFH today and just having a break for lunch. I'm out at a charity fashion show with the social ladies tonight. Then poll clerking tomorrow - loooong day...

Take care all xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Hi Toots,

Poll clerking, that will be a long day especially as most people won't show up until 21:45.

I'm really glad your first day went well. I hope this job is better than even your most optimistic wish.

As for your H...... hmmmm......

Well from my miniscule knowledge I would say your H is in a MLC induced fantasy land, not that it matters because even that is probably more rationale than your H is (unless it's elaborate justification)

So what do YOU want from your H? Best case? Next best? Worst case?

Enjoy the fashion show tonight.


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
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edz Offline
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Indeed Toots have a great time at the show and props on the Poll Clerking, lots of strong coffee tomorrow!

Take it easy, as you've said to me when I needed to hear it relax, concentrate on you and pusscat, H sounds like he has significant issues to work through in his mind he seems to recognise your worth but cant see his own disconnect between how important you should be to him and his own actions, you cant change that and you are doing so well. Let go of it all for now and put it in that box and put the lid *mostly* on for now and have a peek from time to time.

Relax, breathe, be Toots.

(((((Toots)))))

Edz

Last edited by edz; 05/06/15 01:54 PM.

M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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