You are right Ripken, I feel guilty for letting her go, because I think I will kill ANY chance for reconcilliation and our family to be entact.
We haven't spoken in weeks and any communication at this point is very brief but cordial emails or texts. When she texts or calls for the kids, I tell them, Mom called, call her back. They either do or don't depending on what they are doing. I think that is a good strategy to get out of the middle of the phone call issue.
Kind of getting used to the feeling of being the Captain of my own ship. I like not being criticized or yelled at all of the time, I like not having to cowtow to her punishing schedule - it's nice just to do nothing on the weekends but relax. Even the kids tells me how much they like to just go home and relax. We watch movies, eat fun lunches, jump on the trampoline, ride bikes, have friends come over, have sleep overs, read, just relaxig things that help me recharge for another week.
I don't feel as though whatever I do is not good enough. I would get criticized for not interacting more with people, for not holding doors open for people all the time, being ordered around, and just basically feeling lke an employee instead of a partner.
I feel like I can breathe deeply again. So maybe that is what everyone talks about when they are "detaching". If so, I will continue to do it.
The kids tell me that there are no other kids at the WW apartment and they have not had 1 play date there. There is a guy downstairs that does not like noise and makes a stink if they make noise (they are kids and of course they make noise). That makes me feel sad for them, that they can't just be kids to run and play, but there is nothing I can do about that.
