Dazed and Confused

[Archer1]

I've been reading a lot of your guys' stories and felt the need to tell my own and seek advise.

I don't know if I can tell as good a story as the rest of you folks, but here goes.

My wife and I's 1 year anniversary is in 2 weeks. Prior to getting married we were together for 3 years (living together all 3). We have no kids but we do have 3 dogs. We've moved around a lot for my job, but she's never expressed any disapproval with the moves and has always landed on her feet. A few months after our last move she got a new job. This new job offered up many new opportunities for her. One of which was an affair with another man. I found out 3 months after it had been going on. I did not handle the news well. I violated every one of Sandi2's rules (even though she hates when people say they broke her "rules").

She said the affair was over and that she was ready to work on the relationship again. She agreed to a lot more transparency in her actions. She did not like the transparency at all and it quickly faded. Basically, I let her back way too easily.

About 6 months go by and we get married (she was always against marriage and I had never pressured her to change her stance). She's the one that asked if I would like to get married, so I thought he11 yeah!

In her current position, she's been going on a lot of business trips. During one of her most recent trips she was very distant in her communication with me. No good nights, no I love yous, completely out of the norm for us. So I got suspicious and I caught her in a lie on 4/24/15. I waited until she got home and confronted her with the lie. When confronted she said, "I think we should get a divorce" and that she had met someone else while out of state.

I had a feeling something was going on before I confronted her and that is when I found this site. When she told me she wanted a divorce and that she found someone else, I did not cry, beg or anything else that is frowned upon. I said something along the lines of, "Alright, if that's what you want then we can do that, but know that's not what I want". Then I asked her if she would want to go to couples counseling and she agreed. We went and she was still set on the big D.

It has been very awkward at home. No speaking. No touching. No nothing. I have stopped contacting her throughout the day like I would normally do. It's been radio silence for about a week now. Very difficult for me.

Yesterday I told her that I think she should find a new place to stay. She said "ok" without even looking up from her iPad.

One of the reasons she said she wants out is because she wants to live like next week is her last week on earth and she doesn't want to have any responsibilities. She wants to do what she wants when she wants and doesn't care about being in debt or anything.

I don't know if I made a mistake in asking her to leave because I do still love her. My thought process was along the lines of, she has no respect for me as a man and I need to stand up for myself. Stop being a doormat! I'm pretty sure the affair is still going on through email, even though she agreed to NC.

I love my wife a great deal, but after these two affairs I don't know if I could ever take her back.

Part of me thinks I should cut my losses and start my new life, but another part wants to work through all of this.

I've read Sandi2's rules, the detachment thread, and a lot of other info on here and I'm starting to GAL (really did not have one during the relationship).

Sorry this is all over the place, it's the way my thought process is working at the moment. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.