Day Two

[Lifes Twists]

I don't want to read to much into anything, but yesterday I feel there was a big shift. My youngest is sick and may have strep throat. I let ex know. After work, Ex text me how was daughter doing? I let her know that doctors sent culture off to lab but did not offer anything else. Wife then text me that it was the one year anniversary of her incident and that she was sorry for all the drama it had caused. I told her it was not her fault and nothing to apologize for. I told her that I prayed for her everyday to find the happiness that she was seeking. We exchanged a few more text and I got a sense that she needed to talk. I asked her if she was ok and did she want to take a walk and talk. She said she was worried older daughter would be mad. I said don't tell her and we could meet in the park. She jumped at that and must have torn out of the apartment fast.

We met in the park and she suggested sitting to talk rather than walking. She told me how she feels she is getting old, how she misses the kids when they were little, that she worries about them but they don't need her anymore. She told me how things have not turned out how she thought they would. She now recognizes that it has affected the kids in ways that she thought they would not be because of their age. We talked about some of the things that had gone wrong, but also recognized there were good times as well.

I listened carefully. I offered what I have gone through, what I felt along the way and how it has changed me. I offered that I had not done everything right, made mistakes and hopefully have grown from all this.

She told me how I was the only one that she could share the memories of our kids growing up and life together with. That we had taken a lot of trips together with the kids and how she would never do that alone.

I sense that she is missing the good parts of what we had together. I am not sure if this is going to lead anywhere. We left it open to meeting up again. I do get a stronger feeling about the kids interfering in us inter acting. I feel my wife may have had enough of it and is starting to rebel against it. I think she may have felt part of this was for the kids and she is having second thoughts about that now. I told her that she cannot let the kids choose her life for her, that she has to choose that for herself.

I won't read too much into things. I won't get impatient and push things along. I know there is a long way to go and could return to where they were.I will give her the time she needs to decide what path she wants to take. I was surprised by this. I am a little hope full that things have taken a turn in a more positive direction.