I've been working so hard at this whole DB plan. And doing it for me, I know that. A few folks have commented that I look great due to my weight loss but that's about it. One person said I looked ten years younger. That does make me feel better after being dumped and discarded.
As far as detachment goes, I think I am getting better at it, but that too worries me, of course. I have detached to the point of no communication at all. My s9 was sick today so I let him hang out in my office. He's a great s9 and we actually had a fun day together. My D6 thought it was incredibly unfair and refused to get out of the car. I did manage to get her into school. All of this previously would have previously left me unhinged, not any more, I just get on with it. I don't freak about the small stuff anymore either. I can handle it solo. I wish I didn't have to but it is what it is.
I have been thinking a lot about the Stockdale Paradox and yes, the cold brutal truth is evident. I will get through this, not sure when but the real prize is getting over someone who did not love me like I loved them. Why would I want someone who put their needs before the needs of our marriage and family?
I have also been reading a lot about Affair Downs and wow is this ever true in my case. Does that make me feel any better? A little I guess, but it is depressing to throw it all away for an "Affair Down".
An old friend called me today, heard the news and called to check on me. I was incredibly touched that he would take time out of his day to call. He shared he had been in my situation before and he "gets it". I was grateful for his gesture.
I am working on updating my kids school year books. I designed the book covers and am working at preserving the "best" of the years work to save. This is all something I never did before. Strange how the roles have reversed.
