Very true, and that pretty much sums it up in a few words. You can't deal with her as though she is still the same person you M, b/c she's changed. The times she acts somewhat nice, be careful b/c usually it means she's buttering you up for something she wants.
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I know about detachment, but it seems like its pushing W farther away.
Actually, you have said what I call LBH script. That is what many H's say, but it only appears that she's getting farther away due to your detachment.....or else you aren't detaching the correct way.
If she's not able to manipulate you, she's not going to like it. If she's not able to cake eat, she's not going to like it. If she can't disrespect you, or anything else that doesn't suit her.....she's not going to like it. These are the days and time of the stitch that are so painful for the LBH b/c he wants to see immediate results to his actions (detachment) and when he doesn't, it scares him into thinking it's not working.
I think in most cases the WAW will get farther away before coming back. Let it happen, and don't fear it. She has to experience life without you. It will get worse, but that doesn't mean the end result will not be good.
Did you tell her you would go with her to the Mother's Day brunch? If you have a good relationship with your MIL, then go for her sake. After this, stop serving WAW cake and playing like you're still a happy couple (which is probably why she wants you to make an appearance, to keep mom from asking questions).
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
