I was sexually abused as a child. There are many many marital side affects. My destroyed marriage is absolutely a result of my emotional deficiencies left over from the abuse.
I really really think that following the LRT may not be the right move for you. You are going to tweak out her fear of rejection, her fear of abandonment.
There are some really good books out there for spouses of sexual abuse victims. You might consider reading one or two of those before you make any decisions.
You are in a situation where you REALLY have to understand that you can't fix her.
Healing only occurs in the context of a relationship though. You can be with her, but she has to choose to heal.
I did not acknowledge my abuse until I was in my early 30's. However, when I acknowledged my abuse, I did not truly deal with it.
A few years later, I'm watching my life fall apart around me, in every way shape and form, and I've only just now realized the extent to which my abuse has formed my life.
I tell this to you to make the point that many people keep their abuse secret for a very long time. And personally, when I finally choose to reveal the secret, I thought that was the end of it. I realize now, that is only the first step.
And it is common for many years to pass between healing steps.
Me: 35 Her (WAW): 34 D8, S5, D2 T:16, M:9 BD + D: 4/3/2015 EA Confirmed 5/6/2015 Separation under the same roof
