Kramer's Journey

[Kramer]

I was just taking stock of my situation, and am trying to look at things objectively instead of through a romantacized perspective.

Our friction and arguments over the past year centered primarily around me feeling unappreciated, and then me putting up walls and becoming emotionally distant. There were lots of arguments and negative interactions with her teenage sons. They were disrespectful toward their mother and me, doing drugs, and getting into physical altercations. They smoked dope in the house despite me telling them that I did not want drugs in our house. There were numerous fights between them, and plenty of holes in the wall and broken doors from them punching them. There were even arrests from their heated physical fights. It was like living in a surreal Simpson's parody with all of the dysfunction.

I did my best to keep the peace, but was constantly sabotaged by my wife telling them something different and subverting my authority. At the time, I tried to rationalize that she was just showing a mother's unconditional love and I bought into the accusation that I was controlling and overbearing. In reality, however, I was just trying to keep a peaceful, respectful, and safe environment. I realize now that my wife was enabling this behavior and was not on the same page as me.

Since she has moved out into her own house, I am told that the 17 year old is smoking dope on a daily basis and has not been to school since January. The 20 year old just had a new baby 3 days ago, and is moving into her house with his girlfriend and newborn. He also smokes dope on a regular basis, and doesn't have a job. He does not respect authority and doesn't like people telling him what to do. They were living with his GF family for the last 8 months, but he did not like them charging him rent and having rules (no dope, alcohol, or parties). So now he will live with his mother, rent-free, and have no oversight. She is gone all the time with OM. Keep in mind that him and the 17 year old have already had legal issues and arrests between them.

I mention all this wondering if our separation and impending divorce may actually be a blessing in disguise. While we were together, I tried to provide a good moral example and oversight, but things always got worse when I was overruled by my wife. I honestly wonder what will happen next with her and them. I wish that she would open her eyes and see things for how they are, but I don't foresee that happening anytime soon.