So i am going to add 'Not Just Friends' to the book list, seems like everyone who gets married should read that one too.
This weekend was my anniversary, 17 to be exact and we had a great time. i had a wedding on friday night for my uncle, kids soccer stuff on saturday and then a nice anniversary dinner and country line dancing saturday night. i had wanted to go line dancing for a while, so i found this club not too far that had lessons, so i got to do what i wanted to do on saturday. everything felt so right. we got dressed up both nights and had fun planning. to help keep things more clear in my head, i went in with a mindset that even if she wanted, we were not going to have sex either night (i didn't want to pressure that aspect). it didn't come to that and honestly i was not even dissappointed at all. Both nights we took tons of pics together and had fun looking through them and a bunch of our wedding pics and boys baby pictures on sunday. We laughed and laughed.
i am still on my guard, looking for signs of something else going on. i know that i very much could have missed other signs in the past. i don't want to let my insecurity get the best of me about potential affair but then again i want to make sure i am mindful of that potential and likelyhood of another person affecting my wifes emotions or feelings.
Do nothing has been the advice that i've taken so far. it does feel like more and more i do need to tell her that i am not comforable with her relationships with male friends outside of the normal group atmosphere, especially any where she is willing to discuss topics in our marriage that she has not been willing to discuss with me.
my conflict is that things are so much better than they were 2 years ago. things feel more like a marriage than they have for years. Is it ever possible that the wife comes back to a marriage from an WAW condition or EA / PA or whatever, even though nothing is ever proven or discovered. at what point would these things need to get dredged up and addressed. At what point does IC / MC get suggested to bring out these topics to work on the problems so they do not come back again. What i certainly do not want is to return to a marriage without a resolution of what really went wrong. i don't want things to be swept under the rug. it seems like that is potentially what is going on in my life. where wife is starting to reconnect to me, but we have not discussed what has been wrong. i have really made an effort to address my failings in our marriage, but she has not. when does that get brought up. Is it on her time table or up to her?
OR is this the situation where i just sit tight, keep moving forward and let things happen however they shall. It is hard to move forward when you are stuck.
