I thought everything was okay....(Part 6)

[MCS]

I joined a couple dating websites- looking for friends, it was actually in my title that I am married and am just looking for someone to hang out with. Somehow while she's here, WAW found out, even though I deleted everything. She was pissed- even though I literally sent no one a message, didnt even have a profile picture, and met no one at all. Makes no sense to me since she's living with OM.

TLEE,

Good for you to be back. I'm sorry that the last couple days have been trying for you. Hopefully they are settling down a little bit. As far as this portion of your post.....it's WW script. Did she believe you when you told her the truth about it? Probably not....its not the dating site that got her upset; its the uncertainty of the whole sitch. If you're comfortable with the intentions of your postings, that's all that matters.

This is where I stand. If my M is R or D based on my current actions on these sites; it probably didn't have much of a chance anyway. Everything I'm doing is stuff I would be willing to share with anyone at all. The caution that I'm making sure I'm okay is what could this 'lead' to. That's where I need to continually evaluate with myself. I've always said that one of my values is to always take whatever consequences your actions have; so I know I'm going into this carefully.

I agree that WW seems still confused and lost...but have you, MCS actually really changed?

So, this is an interesting one. I've looked and looked to see what my true role in the sitch was and I see that 'my' changes are fairly simple to make, but not uncovered for a long time. I've been comfortable with the core of MCS, himself throughout all of this. My issues? Apathy, complacency some criticism based on the two . I can see this much clearer now, but I also see that none of these traits were even close to being unhealthy in any relationship (especially once kids are born)

In saying that I'm all about claiming responsibility, but I see that there are really, really deep seated issues that WW has been struggling with for a long time. Over the years, she based her self-esteem on others (including me) and I was just one of many people 'life' caught up became apathetic of this need of hers (no one really saw it.) She's shut out everyone else to because of these same issues. I can't fix that.