Thanks again sweet JellyB for putting my "million-thoughts-a-minute" straight! I really need to get out of his head and into my own! All this thinking is driving me up the wall.. And as you say it's very damaging to none other than myself! Your words is just what I need to keep my straight..
I hope it's nothing serious you're having done.. Sending you lots and lots of warm thoughts and thanks!! You are a sweet bean..
Tulo, take all this advice, especially what Zues has written. I wish I had this at my fingertips in the first few days of H being 'not sure', instead I pushed him into 'I want a Divorce' by doing everything I shouldn't.
Even right down to telling H 'I love you, therefore I will let you go and give you the Divorce'
I wish that I had known that this would send H running in the opposite direction with it's controlling and manipulative message. I thought I was telling him, because I love you so much, this is what I am doing for you :-(
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Thank you so much for your reply! It makes me so much more at ease with where I am in all of this when I read all the support and good advice from you all! <3
I had a superstruggle this weekend with the whole no contact thing, but I persevered and didn't contact him. Felt like a victory, extra so much so because (well.. I breed dogs and yesterday something really sad happened to one of my puppy-buyers dogs and it had to be put down) something really sad happened and I just wanted to talk to him and here his voice, but I hanged in there going through it alone and just thought of how fast things changes in life and that we really need to take every moment and do what is best so that we don't live with regret..
And so this morning, a small "ding" from my phone and there it was.. A text from him, saying that he hoped that I have had a good weekend and ended it with a hug. I replied and askedhim about his and ended with "take care today" (it's kind of our thing, and the other replies that we promise and say it back again) and he said he promised and said it back to me.
Felt good.. I so wish with all my heart that he thinks of me and maybe misses me a little..
Today I hope that my DB book nr 2 is in the mailbox.. Can't wait to get my hands on it..
I will absolutely take all of your advice and back of and STFU (honestly for me, that is like asking me to run a marathon with my legs tied together, I have always had trouble knowing when to STFU..) and hope that it gives him the break he needs and that it makes him think about what we have and want to salvage it.
All my best to you! Will check your tread.. Thanks again!!
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
I think this is the link. I never done this before.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
Early morning here and just woke up. Clock says 5,30. Anxiety and sadness is very high at the moment. All I got from him yesterday was that morning text and then silence. And I can feel that I'm giving up hope. I so wish he would text that he thinks of me, or misses me or anything. Just a little sign of that he hasn't totally given up. He was so firm when we spoke last Wednesday. He didn't have any feelings for me any more, he didn't miss me and so on. And now it just feels like I'm silly for thinking a little bit of time apart is gonna change his mind.
Haven't met him for since last Saturday. It wasn't pleasant. We have decided to meet this week, I hope he still wants to.
I got the book yesterday, but after running practice I was so tired my eyes wouldn't stay open and I just had to sleep. It's raining outside today and I've got no plans. I will light a fire and put on a cup of tea and read.
Does any of you think that it could be a positive that he texted me, even though it was a very simple friendly text, only a hug at the end? Or could it be that he just feels obligated to get in touch. He did call last week after a few days of less contact and in the end he did say he didn't miss me.
I know, I shouldn't even be thinking of this. I should be concentrating on GAL and work on myself. And I do do that. I'm just so cared that with this time so disconnected, he's going to think it's just wonderful to be rid of me and tell me we are over. And it hurts. Like hell.
Just going to wake up a bit more and then get stuck in my book. I need it.
All my best to you all out there! Sorry I'm in such a negative spiral at the moment..
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5