I had a bagged packed and in my car for an exit strategy Friday night (had arranged to stay at a friends if needed).
After the D's went to bed, she said she wanted to talk. I sat and validated my butt off. Good advice to read the validation cheat sheet and remember to believe none of what she said. So, basically the way it ended Friday night was with her admitting she has no idea what she wants to do.
So, I go out with friends on Saturday night. Then she wants to talk again tonight. I commit to listening and validating none-the-less. This time, she starts in with she wants a divorce because ILYBINILWY but she's not ready to divorce because of all the logistic crap (finances, etc.).
This time I validated but countered with some tough love. By now, frankly, I'm worn out. This is the second time in 6 years she's pulled this on me. She told me she didn't think she could ever have sex with me again but that she still loved me. I validated her thought, but then told her I couldn't live with that. That I needed someone that loved me for who I was and was comfortable both physically and emotionally intimate. She countered by saying that she just didn't know if she could do that.
So I guess where it ended is, she still doesn't know what she wants to do. But I did tell her what I needed from a marriage and I told her that if she reached the conclusion that she couldn't or wouldn't be willing to work toward those things, then she should file.
It ended with her asking me why I love her, so I told her. And then she said she would need some time to think. So, I told her, well, when you are ready to talk again let me know.
Thank God my expectations were low on Friday and even lower today. Thanks everyone for keeping up with me and thinking of me.
