Maybell XXXV: Almost There

[Mozza]

This is a very insightful post about your parents. To me, it appears more clearly why you're a Nice Girl. You must have felt the need to bend over backwards to be liked. What you say about your parents being upset for years if you said "Don't come" shows how you expect to be punished for showing your true emotions. Of course, your parents are getting what they deserve when you don't call. They create no incentives for it. But it's probably too late to teach them otherwise. The path in their heads are too familiar and there's no external shock to shake them out of it.

I had my parents over for the week-end. I don't know if you'll relate, but they're pretty much the opposite of yours. They never quite say what they really want or feel. To answer yes to a question like "Do you want a beer?" they go "Ah! Oh. Mmm.... Well..." To say no to something like "Do you want to come with me to the grocery?", they'll say a terse "Ok". To most anything I suggest, they'll say "I don't mind." Today, they had to drive nearby with the kids while I would bike there. They kept making up scenarios so that I wouldn't bike, even though I had told them 5 times I was OK biking — I guess they just couldn't believe that anyone would be straightforward. The problem of course is that they do have a preference, but they can't say it. So they say it doesn't matter and, knowing this for living with them for 20 years, they'll complain behind the back of people. And that's how I became a Nice Guy, coming the complete opposite way from yours.

You talk about your parents but then describe only your mother's actions and words. Can you remind us a little about your father?