Trying to Follow DB & DR (3)

[Miman2]

Thanks Fogg and Vanilla.

I am working on learning on taking care of myself. I'm working through both the Codependent no more book and workbook. The book has several chapters that cover taking care of yourself, while the workbook goes through the CoDA 12-steps themselves. I'm going to CoDA meetings twice a week, seeing an IC, GALing, working out, keeping up with work, applying for new jobs and going to church. The only day I don't really have anything going is Tuesday evenings.

That being said I feel like I'm on a good trajectory in DBing.
I know that I need to wait, and I'm not talking about literally waiting, for her to reach out and for when she wants to reconcile.
I know that I need to wait until she's in the frame of mind where she's ready and committed to working on the R.
I know that making a move on anything before that wouldn't be in the best interests in terms of reconciling.

The only problem with waiting for all that is that it all relies on one assumption.

That assumption is she is a well adjusted, socially normal, extroverted individual who will reach out to people no matter what when she feels like talking to them. Something my W has never been.

I know I can't rescue her. I know that I can't control her or convince her to work on things.

The hard part is ignoring the fear that she's done her part in trying to work things out and I'm not meeting her halfway.

The hard part is ignoring knowing her for 13-years and never once seeing her reaching out to anyone she's wanted to reach out to, family included.

The hard part is convincing myself that if she really wants to work on things and really means it, then MAYBE she will actually get over a lifelong social phobia of hers to actually get the ball rolling.

GAL Report
Whirlwind GAL weekend. Friday night's CoDA group went pretty well. Turns out the group goes out for dinner afterwards so I got to spend a lot of time socializing afterwards.

Saturday there was a huge board game group get together that I went to. 12-hours of table top gaming, socializing, and fun times to be had by all.

With all the excitement and activity over the weekend I had to take Sunday down a notch so I could tend to things around the apartment.

All-in-all not a bad weekend, one of my more active ones in a long time. Hopefully I can keep up the weekend activities at this level a bit more.