That's what I was thinking too. I just don't want to be a big baby if God is putting something in my path to help the situation. In some ways, it's exactly the answer to our prayers...yet, it's a big ol' dump. So much of the village is like that. In D12's words, "It's just so depressing mom."
I just need to calm the heck down. I started putting the numbers in the budget and got all excited at cutting here and cutting there!! Maybe I just need to trust God. He found us this really nice place.
This week, aside from the Forester, I had the "revised" atty bill, the looming Ohio hearing date (still with no settlement proposal in hand), tax issues, rental issues, bills-bills-bills-news about the sex offender...it all got me spinning again. I was looking desperately for a quick solution. Deep breath. I caught myself putting everything but the paper first again. The panic was imploding in my head.
The man with ALS was a great reminder. Steady it goes.
Despite the high rent, I don't worry about D12 being alone here. And, I would worry in the other village. These homes are safe, clean and the neighborhood is very small. We are also right across the street from the police. In some ways, it's really ideal. It's just the price and the distance. I guess if I think about it, just because I'm a hit in the village where I work doesn't mean I couldn't be a hit elsewhere.
Last night, I sent the girl away. I was polite. I felt so badly for her. I did tell her she could come back today to hang out. It's D12 that I don't want taken advantage of. I've told her I'm ok with her playing with this little girl as long as it's something SHE wants to do...or, if she wants to help the little girl...but, she has the right to say, "No" or end the playdate when she is tired. D12 is really mature for her age and this little girl is really immature...and needy. The situation has set off my red flags. Something is very strange and very wrong.
I heard back this week that the boy who raped the little girl in my Ohio home has only received a slap on the wrist. He will get probation and house arrest for the two children he violated. I guess the one cousin he raped (three times) told the court that the offending boy had admitted there were other children. I'm sure there were. This boy, at 15, left a trail and I tutored him at the height of his activity. I'm so grateful D12 had his number from the start and had the confidence to keep him far away.
The rental company told me to pay what I could and keep the conversations open. I will do that.
I still have the list of resources the Asperger's woman gave me. I will continue to look through them.
One day at a time.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
