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HeavyD Offline OP
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Poll

How many times a day should the non custodial parent call? My stbx calls about 6 times per day. I have suggested setting a time once per day say 6pm - she ignores it and calls whenever.

How much is too much?


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I think that would be up to your kids. How much they like having her call.

Otherwise, call display and having the kids pick up.

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HeavyD Offline OP
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Kids never pick up the phone - ever! It doesn't even register on their minds. Really


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If they don't pick up and they know who it is. Let the phone ring.

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When the inevitable phone conversation takes place, of course it is in the car on Bluetooth. So I turn it of and give it to me S9 to talk one on one.

I could still hear the convo and I whistled, hummed, did everything I could think of to not hear it.

She was bright and happy and laughed often. She talked abot things that we used to talk about like pugs, fench bulldogs, and our favorite restaurants and how much she loves him and misses him.

In short, it was painful to listen to. I know my S9 loves his Mom and they need to talk, but God Almighty, it's hard when I have to overhear. What was I supposed to do, stop the car and get out in order not to hear? I am glad to know she has moved on so easily and effortlessly.

Last night the s9 and I went to a movie just the two of us. It was fun. I realized driving to the theater how much life there is about me, in the movies, how many people there were and that everywhere life had moved on. It hit me that it moves on and does not stop regardless of my (or anyone's pain) or problems. We can stay in bed and cry or we can get on with it and live in spite of dissapointments.

The world keeps turning and we either choose to live or die. I choose to live, in spite of the pain. I am not the first nor will I be the last to be betrayed by a loved one.

Last edited by HeavyD; 05/03/15 07:11 PM.

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Heavy - sometimes I feel the same way watching my W interact with my daughters. For months, she has been pretty distant and only a little affectionate with them. Since BD, I've noticed that she's always asking them for hugs and kisses and such right in front of me; I know it's not about me, but it just makes me sad that she can't feel the same towards me.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
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HeavyD Offline OP
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Matt

Yes, there is a sadness to it.

While I am happy that my kids love her, it's pitiful.


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Hey Heavy,
My W has lately turned herself into super-mom (with cell phone in hand), trying to get every ounce of attention from our kids. She does not acknowledge the time she was MIA - like it never happened.

I am not sure why it is painful to see and hear her interaction with the kids - I should be happy about it. It just seems so fake to me and another dagger in me.

I do think that at times she is just trying to out-parent me. I am still the guy who gets things done and she is the one with pet names, acting like a 20 year old, and buying them off.

It is painful


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
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HeavyD Offline OP
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U-Turn

That hits the nail in the head - it just seems so fake. If my kids only knew what a liar she was and how much devestation her behaviors have caused all of us.

Of course I can never say why (until later) but it's just such a sad joke. My S9 has said how she can't buy him another Ipad becuaes it's too expensive, yet she charges $500 a night hotel rooms with OW. It's just too much - barf.


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That may be one of my biggest triggers lately. I have to remove myself from the area when this starts. I know it is not fair of me to feel this way - the kids deserve love from both of us, I just have a really hard time these days showing it at the same time she is. (she dislikes this about me at the moment).

I really do not believe that W thinks that the lies she told me were also lies to the kids. I also think that she feels the kids have not been impacted by this and only are going to be impacted by MY decision to end the marriage.

Too much is right!


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
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