When the inevitable phone conversation takes place, of course it is in the car on Bluetooth. So I turn it of and give it to me S9 to talk one on one.
I could still hear the convo and I whistled, hummed, did everything I could think of to not hear it.
She was bright and happy and laughed often. She talked abot things that we used to talk about like pugs, fench bulldogs, and our favorite restaurants and how much she loves him and misses him.
In short, it was painful to listen to. I know my S9 loves his Mom and they need to talk, but God Almighty, it's hard when I have to overhear. What was I supposed to do, stop the car and get out in order not to hear? I am glad to know she has moved on so easily and effortlessly.
Last night the s9 and I went to a movie just the two of us. It was fun. I realized driving to the theater how much life there is about me, in the movies, how many people there were and that everywhere life had moved on. It hit me that it moves on and does not stop regardless of my (or anyone's pain) or problems. We can stay in bed and cry or we can get on with it and live in spite of dissapointments.
The world keeps turning and we either choose to live or die. I choose to live, in spite of the pain. I am not the first nor will I be the last to be betrayed by a loved one.
