I think that is something you have to build within your self and not through outside affirmations. I deal with the same issues sometimes. When I met my H, with self worth was at a high, but then I let my self esteem start to dip and self doubts start to sabatoge my M through my actions. I let criticism from my H and the fact that I gained weight start to eat away at me and fear that my H was starting to see the real me and would reject me. That is partially why I started to pull away from my H. Protection mode. This is one of the areas that I have been working on.
I am reading a book called, Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem, by Marilyn Sorensen. I would not say my self esteem is super so, but on the lower to moderate side. It also ebbs and flows. It has really helped my understand why I did some of the things I did in my M. I think my H has some of this too, but we tend to attract people with the same issues I think. There is a workbook you can buy too.
You might want to check out a TED Talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability. I think it might be relevant.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
