Surrendering this battle to win the war.

[Pyrite]

just to clarify - it was too much pressure for her to bare. it was my worst nightmare and i suppose i needed reassurance more than ever. I was largely satisfied, but was not fixed. Later, things mounted, then we had the baby. W was under pressure to i guess. in retrospect she put herself under a lot of pressure with the baby.

On a daily basis I felt like a stranger/ servant in my own home. Periodically, I would ask for reassurance that I was more than that. It got to a point where she outright refused. Things were unhealthy from then on.

Who knows IF only. But I do know that it was wrong of me to exert this pressure on her. I expected her to reassure me, and then resented her when she didn't. I was generally quiet about this resentment, turning it inwards, getting depressed, requiring further reassurance. I started resenting everything about her.