Pyrite, I have finally caught up with what you have written. Your analogy about the RC is true.

I have a fear of both needing to jump, and clinging on in the hope of salvaging my M. I can see neither of these are healthy, but it doesn't stop the wild swing between the two.

What I keep asking myself is this, which one will bring my M back? I know we need to detach and don't care but the reality is I have this at the forefront of my mind everyday.

Days are good where I think I have accepted a future without H, but then I know that is not the case as it hurts to think of this. I guess real acceptance comes when we no longer care or hurt.

Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15