Thanks mahhhty, Yes I have read the light house story. I have takin much from it. Sandi's rules I follow but a little on the softer side. Meaning I let her initiate all contact. I do not linger. I am strong and confidant. But I do show her I care and speak from the heart when she calls and asks me about us. she does try to drag me into arguments with texting a lot and can be very harsh to me when I do not play her game and stay calm and understanding toward her. she called the other day and cried for almost an hr on the phone speaking of the things we had done to hurt one another. She is very angry that she sees these changes in me now instead of so many years ago before so much hurt. she sends me little sayings about marriage and the work involve to make it work. I sent her flowers showing I understand some of her needs she wanted of me. we have been separated almost 3 months now. we have not gone more than 3 days without her contacting me. it does not take much to anger her and almost every time we speak on the phone she cries. I became emotionally abusive to her by not letting go of some mistakes she made in the beginning of our relationship. I would bring them up in fights and use them against her due to my insecurities. I am glad I realize so many things now just fear it is to late and ultimately she had to pay the price.
