Hi Lucy, sounds like you are doing pretty well. I also found the Stockdale Paradox helpful and often think of it. In terms of overall faith, I don't even have faith in such a specific outcome (H and I being back together again) - more an overall faith that life will be good again going forwards, whatever the outcome of this sitch.

And then rolling sleeves up to deal with the intervening brutal reality in a way that is honest, authentic and true to my values...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus