Its possible shes just saying those things to avoid her own guilt, or so she doesn't have to accept her role in it. It would be easier to just say "if you would only.....we could maybe....." which then places the blame on you for whatever happens or doesn't happen.
The fact is shes still with OW and she left, its not your place to do something to make her come back. If she really wants to have a relationship with you she would make a real effort, not shitty excuses that blame you. Keep being cordial and work on yourself, your doing great.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
