Thank you all for stopping by my thread, I really appreciate it.
Zues, I think you are right, the dust has not yet settled. Even when it starts to settle, I seem to just dust it all up again. I have thought about a coach, but money is tight right now as I am paying for pretty much everything myself. My extra money is going to my counselor twice a month right now.
Journaling: So in the beginning of my sitch, H was way more receptive to me. For the 3 months we were separated but still in the same house, he still told me he loved me, he invited me to come with him to meet people for drinks, texted me throughout the day, checked to make sure I got in ok when travelling, etc., but just didn't know what he wanted, was confused, didn't know if things could change. During this time I was doing all the wrong things, pursuing, pleading, crying.
After he moved out in January that all changed and he slowly backed further and further away (he met OW in January). Now we are at the point where it seems impossible to salvage. I know some of his actions are probably related to OW, but maybe the time away from me really made him realize that he doesn't love me and does not want to work on this? Like he realized that all of his problems were actually because of me after all. I just feel like in the beginning there was hope, and now there is none.
He is pushing on getting this divorce and I just feel like I am running out of time.
Me:36 H: 29 T: 4 years M: 2 years No kids In-house sep 10/4/14 H moved out 1/2/15 Talk of D 4/9/15
"She's standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more she can take" John Mayer
