Thanks Toots I've been think along the same lines. I do see the dynamic you pointed out during the M I am a fixer. If there is a problem I can normally get it resolved In my line of work I need to get things done for customers that would be considered near impossible in the normal run of events. My dad pointed out this same big brother / little sister thing when this first started and I have always been this way , with friends and family I have pulled back and on reflection I haven't keep the road home smooth because while I am there for W , in conversation I would always make it clear that we are a done deal.
Recently W was taking about her landlord finding out she had cats , I suggested on the renewal of her lease in 6 months that she ask him to amend it to include cats
W called yesterday to see how I was and tell me she had to collect D10 from school as D10 wasn't well. W said it was sad because she was there for the kids when they were ill before and now she wasn't. I said this was ours lives now and we would all adapt in time
I would always make it clear that I am not expecting W home and I don't think our sitch will change.
If I was W , i would think that while Rd was very nice and helpful he had no interest in reconciling
Toots I think it's time to end all contact with W save for kids related stuff. W has been gone 7'months now and while her life is far from happy she is getting on with it. Besides my friends on here , I confide in about 4 close friends/ family and my L/C. All of them want me to continue to be there for W because she is lost and going through a form of breakdown / MLC. You know how hard it is to keep on keeping on Toots and I have to deal with contact with W everyday My kids have to factor into any decision I make and I would happily give my life for them , it's just the pain of seeing someone you have loved for 25 years daily knowing they no longer love you
I will detach in a physical way and put some distance between W and me and I hope this will give me some relief I don't want to go against L/Cs advice but maybe I should.
Thanks Toots , I really appreciate your input and concern. Take care. Rd
