Back again, advice needed..

[Tulo]

I totally agree.. A M is something to try and salvage, but in the end it all just became to much and I felt that I couldn't go on without going back on everything I believe and in the end I just couldn't do it. I could have forgiven the adultery if I had felt that he was honestly sorry or regretful about it and if I had felt that he understood what his kids needed from him was a father, not someone who put himself over them every chance he got.

I guess in the end it was just a matter of seeing the truth for what it was. He wasn't the man I thought him to be, and when even his mum said to me that he'd never change and thought I needed to get out, I did just that. It wasn't easy, and he became quite nasty and hurtful, but I'm glad I did.

I understand your want to see loyalty in the people you interact with, I do to. What I struggle with now is that my past makes me question peoples loyalty, even when I know I shouldn't. What to do about that?
Like the situation I'm in now.. I KNOW I have no reason to think he is out and about when we're not in contact. His issue is weather or not he wants a relationship at all, and why (oh why) would he go out and start an A when he still hasn't ended the one we've got and just want to be alone? Makes no sense. And the fact that during our R I have never had any reason to doubt him, never caught him in a lie and still STILL STILL STILL I can't seem to think he's up to no good..

I know that is because I feel that I have been wrong about people before and I'm scared of being hurt again, so I'd rather think the worst, even though it makes me feel awful and sad.

I know that the correct DB-ways are to keep silent. Giving him a chance to miss me, or even just notice this small change. But inside it scares me that this opens up for him letting someone else in, even in the slightest way, and/or making him feel that it feels wonderful NOT to talk with me and open up him to the want of never wanting to be with me again.

I have said that I'm away over the weekend (home Sunday) and we have said we gonna meet and talk next week. Would you wait and let him contact me? I think I know the answer, but still need/want to ask. I'm having a bit of a hard time due to the fact that we still haven't said "it's over" so is backing off completely the right thing for me to do as well?

Just had a conversation with my niece (28y) and she says that she just thinks I'm holding off the inevitable and that I should call him and say I'm home and go there and get it over with. VERY hard for me to hear, but what if she's right?

What do you think dear Zeus?

All my best!