I thought everything was okay....(Part 6)

[MCS]

Part 1 - Initial disappearance and NC from beginning by W, unsure of why W left, found out about OM, one weekend of talking about reconciling, then NC from W, initiate mediation
I thought everything was okay


Part 2 - Continued NC from W, further distance from W about kids, MCS figures out judgmental tendencies, W finally comes gets her things, stress over communication about kids
I thought everything was okay....(part 2)

Part 3 - MCS tries to figure out how to control his anger about the sitch. MCS thinks he's 'done' with DB by allowing himself to get too stern about communications about the kids. MCS finds that he's actually starting to detach (finally.) W reduces her NC at counseling and starts to ask MCS about how he's feeling and what he needs for closure.
I thought everything was okay (part 3)

Part 4 - MC continues to talk about the R, but there's really no progress in R. Is OM done? W starts to let down her wall and show how much emotional stress she's in. Interactions start to get better outside MC, but W shuts back down. MCS struggling whether to believe W about things that she says about BD, W downplays role of OM on her leaving.
I thought everything is okay (part 4)

Part 5 - MCS starts to really make some progress in detaching, relinquishing control and generally starting to be comfortable with his life. WW seems to be struggling, but MCS realizes there's nothing he can do. WW decides to cancel MC (mediation)
I thought everything was okay....(Part 5)
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So, for everyone reading this that is new(er.) 'It' (which really means 'you') gets better even if the R/M/WW doesn't seem to be getting better. Man, it takes a toll and I never thought that I'd be saying this, but I'm actually feeling fine with whatever the outcome may be in all of this. Everything you hear on these boards and it makes no sense at all. It will....it just takes time, a lot of work and a lot of self-reflection.

For me, where I left off on the last thread is starting to experiment a little with reaching out and making new connections. It's a little surprising because my own reaction to this step wasn't as I predicted.

WW seems not to be doing well, but that may just be around me. I know she's out of money and stressed about that, but generally she's looking and acting......different, depressed and angry. I don't know if or when she'll ever get out of this funk, it seems like we switched roles. I was a mess at BD and she was calm and collected, now the opposite it true.

Kids, whom I was most worried about, seem to be adjusting adequately. They are definitely beginning to be more vocal about differences between 'Dad' and 'Mom' which is tough to hear, I reassure them and stay positive but it still breaks my heart but there's not much I can do about it.

Communication with WW is back to non-existent. Now, I see myself just communicating how I want to, without concern in how she feels about it, nor do I get upset when she doesn't respond at all.