Waking up just now and anxiety is at a all time high. Mornings are just the worst for me. I know that he's not the cheating kind, and as far as I can tell after 2 years together, he has never lied to me or been deceitful. He told me he was going to have one of his twins at his place this weekend and I have no reason to doubt him. And still, now my heart is pounding out of my chest and why? Because he's not checked his FB for 12 hours..

Could be a million reasons why he hasn't. He's not a big FB guy, hardly ever posts or like stuff and so on. But normally he goes online a few times a day..

So now I'min my bed, thinking up one thing worse than the next and it's freaking me out. I had nightmares just before I woke up and it was all about him being with someone else. My feelings overrides my brain at this moment and the fact that I and all who knows him thinks that he is one of the good guys suddenly does not help my heart..

Am I going nuts? Could this be my gut telling me something true that I ought to listen to or is it most likely that I'm emotionally unbalanced and that is why I see monsters everywhere?

Very thankful for any thoughts..

I even play with the thought of trying to spy on him.. That is how freaking out of my mind I am..

M: 44 H: 43
ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect.
"This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15
Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15
It's over: 9/5