WAS need help!

[nick615]

Yes, W did use my anger against me, especially after i started going to therapy and anger management classes. When we would argue we both said nasty things to each other and we both pushed each others' buttons. If anything, it seems as though she has the anger problems now, which she might blame on me.

I don't ever remembering W asking me to be there for her more. Her main complaint throughout our marriage was how i handled my anger. She wanted me to control myself more, which i have learned through going to therapy. She never mentioned to the therapist about me not being there for her. As for me appreciating her and treating her like she is a great wife, i had told her that i have written several little love notes and get little gifts for her once a month, but i admit we haven't gone out on a date since S2 was born. W mentioned last night that she wants me to make her feel as though she is great, and i told her i do think great. She stated that she doesn't care for those things, she wants me to make her feel better when she does something wrong instead of me getting frustrated. I think we both do the same, but i know what she means.

In regards to the part about not wanting to worry about what kind of mood im going to be in everyday, i had told her that she needs to give me a chance to improve, which i have. She says that she worries, but i haven't had those moods in over a year. Things have improved with more time that has passed since my Mom passed away, and therapy, which i have started back since March. In regards to the communication part, i do have a problem communicating my thoughts and feelings. I have and continue to work on this in therapy and W knows my issues and that i have been working with my therapist. Yes, my therapist has
said that my anger issues and communication problems are due to my childhood and how i was raised. I was physically and mentally abused a lot by my father. W knows about it.
I stopped going to therapy in part because things had improved and I also got really busy with work. We weren't arguing, we were laughing and having fun together, and it felt like we were closer. I never shouldv'e stopped going to therapy and i know now, that even if i feel good about things and im communicating better, i should still go.