My W started asking me again about doing things together this weekend. She literally asked me to do about a half dozen different things... and also started talking about doing things together later this summer, etc.
Based on previous posts, some of you may disagree with the approach I took...
I believe deeply that part of being an attractive MAN (and husband) is providing leadership. For this reason, I reiterated the conversation I had with my W a few days ago. This time providing a clear road map forward.
I directly asked her is she was continuing to talk to the OM. She stated that she was in fact still talking to him (contrary to what she previously told me). I explained that I no longer wanted to spend my time with her while she was having an A. I explained that she was free to do whatever she wanted, adding that I was simply explaining my viewpoint.
I explained that whatever happens between us will work itself out in time, adding that this is not about that. I told her that this was about respect, trust, and boundaries. I explained that I no longer wanted to spend my time with someone who was willing to treat me with such blatant disrespect.
I explained that if she wanted to spend time with me in any capacity, she needed to break off all contact with the OM in a transparent way. I also explained that we would need to rebuild trust and respect by creating transparency in our relationship. I told her that we could no longer go forward acting like nothing was wrong. We need to deal with this in a deliberate way.
At the end of our talk, I reminded her that I was not pressuring her to do anything. I reminded her that she was free to do whatever she feels is best for her. I was simply explaining where I was with things. I added if she did not want to break off contact with the OM, that was her choice. I was comfortable moving on with my life by myself.
