New, trying to save marriage

[Ahoy]

So, if I understand right, you are supporting a stay-at-home artist with a possible drinking problem who pushes you and is violent?

Forgive me for being blunt, but why would you want that in your life? Tell him to get a job; separate; do what you can to save yourself.

I too supported a stay-at-home artist -- supported him until he was finally successful, and then he ran off with another woman.

My advice: pull the plug. Get on with your life.