Hey Bob.....ouch! I truly get it. My H sent me a few very terse texts in the months after BD. And it does hurt. On the plus side it becomes easier to detach. You guys probably have a pretty long road, which is actually made harder if your S is dropping kibbles the whole time. And things like this text are why detaching becomes so important. It's good to get to the point where you can be more 'shruggy' about this kind of thing. And you;ll get there.
So, she's doing what she's doing right now. Try not to read into things 'maybe she's just moved on' etc...and move forward yourself. Build up your GAL plans to give your mind more time away from your sitch, and create a life that you would be happy with going forwards.
((Bob))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Try not to take W's text personally. I have faced similar stiff-armed responses from Ms. Wonka for months. Their Berlin Wall is very high as they don't want to give us hope or show any warmth. It took me months to chip away Ms. Wonka's wall.
Just say thanks and you will take care if it. Then wish her a good weekend.
That's good advice from Wonka Bob. I would send that reply and make yourself some nice plans for the weekend. W may be a little surprised not to get something more or different from you - who knows. But I would follow the vet advice and trust the process.
Have a good weekend x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I replied back to you on my thread, but just wanted to pop in here and be a support column. I don't feel qualified to give much advice here on the forum (at least not yet), but I do say a lot of prayers for ya'll and I'll make some comments now and then.
I hate to tell you this but the WAS is over us at bomb drop. Why do you think we get bombed?
I hope you did not respond?
Hi Cadet,
Well said. Sad, but true. Of course we are all (or most) here hoping to DB.
What I think I really meant is her "wall" is getting higher and higher.
No, I did not respond.
Thanks for checking in Cadet.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
So, she's doing what she's doing right now. Try not to read into things 'maybe she's just moved on' etc...and move forward yourself. Build up your GAL plans to give your mind more time away from your sitch, and create a life that you would be happy with going forwards.
((Bob))
Hi Toots!
Thank you for checking in on my "saga." I really, really appreciate writing that your H would act the same way. I don't feel so alone. And, you have some very good points! I think replies like that willl help me detach a bit easier. I am going to keep working on myself and not worry about what the future will bring.
I needed the hug - thanks Toots.
(((Toots)))
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Try not to take W's text personally. I have faced similar stiff-armed responses from Ms. Wonka for months. Their Berlin Wall is very high as they don't want to give us hope or show any warmth. It took me months to chip away Ms. Wonka's wall.
Just say thanks and you will take care if it. Then wish her a good weekend.
Hi Wonka!
I am so, so glad to hear from you. You always have great advice, as others on this forum do. You have invested a lot of time in my sitch, and for that, I am thankful to you and God.
Did you notice Cadet's post? It's on the previous page. She wrote thet she hoped I didn't reply. I still have not.
May I ask why you suggested I reply? Do you think it might be better just to let it go?
Thanks!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
That's good advice from Wonka Bob. I would send that reply and make yourself some nice plans for the weekend. W may be a little surprised not to get something more or different from you - who knows. But I would follow the vet advice and trust the process.
Have a good weekend x
Hi Toots (again)!
I know, Wonka is really good! I just read and replied to his post.
Cadet thought it's best I don't respond. Cadet and Wonka and you are so good, so I'm a little confused right now. Happy to get the input, but conflicting advice.
Cadet, if you take a peek in, what do you think about Wonka's suggestion and Toots' "seconding" it?
Thanks Toots!
xoxo
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I replied back to you on my thread, but just wanted to pop in here and be a support column. I don't feel qualified to give much advice here on the forum (at least not yet), but I do say a lot of prayers for ya'll and I'll make some comments now and then.
I think you are doing great BTW, Diesel
Hey Diesel,
You are the man! Thanks for your time, concern, prayers and the encouragement.
I said a prayer for you last night, and several others on the board. It makes me feel good to pray for others who need assistance!
Anyway, you are awesome. I hope your day is going well.
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
I dont think it matters all that much one way or the other. And you could wait a few days and respond too, after all you are a very busy man that has other things to do besides worrying about your WAW.
