I'm really worried that I'm going to come across as way too much of a harda** here. So, if that is the case, I apologize in advance.
Tell me, what consequences has he had to face as a result of his actions? Any, at all? From what you've written he's had problems and treated you badly for years. Right now, he's having another affair and trying to shove the OW down your throat.And, it kind of seems like you are letting him. The fact that he spends a few minutes texting you some nice things does not remotely balance his wildly inappropriate behavior and blatant disregard for your wellbeing.
When I read and comment on a lot of threads, it is with the general hope that the marriage can be saved. In your situation , I worry a lot more about you.
You mention a letter from a lawyer. Have you seen a lawyer? You left that part out.
