Back again, advice needed..

[Tulo]

Oh, my favourite colour JellyB! How wonderful to hear from you!

Well, I'm hanging in there but it goes very much up and down.. I chickened out on the "talk" and told my first lie EVER in our R but I just couldn't handle it.

So now I'm using this weekend to focus on myself and running. But when all these thoughts flashes in my brain, I get the week in the knees so it feels like they are about to buckle..

I'm so worried that he is gonna stick with what he has said that he doesn't feel the same for me and that he simply can't help it and want to call it quits. I keep reading here that even small changes are being noticed and I just hope that they are right, and that he'll react and feel that he misses me.

A friend of mine said yesterday that she thought that he might be one of these people that only can do one thing at the time. He's been so invested in me, us and now when his kids needs him due to their mum having a new baby, he only wants to focus on them. And that might make him feel that he's got no energy to put into our R. Maybe she's right.

I'm trying to implement a little bit of "The Secret" if you've read that book. It's about laws of attraction and I try to keep a positive mind and try to attract good things to me, him and our R. As you can tell, I'll do anything!

How are you sweet JB? Been out and about since we wrote last?

I'm going out for a run now, it's early evening, and then I'm cooking dinner for my niece and her daughter (who are here to keep me company and keep my mind above sea level) and my son who I hope comes to stay the night. Then it's the sofa and a warm fire that I hopefully will give me some peace of mind as I'm working on my BO over the weekend.

Lots of hugs to you, the sweetest read bean of them all!
PS, Tomorrow is candy time and I'm gonna buy a handful of read Jelly Beans when I'm at the shop! Ds