Monday she will get a letter from my L that she will not be happy at all about. She will be royally pissed. She already doesn't like me having my own L and said I was "showing my true colors" and was being "vindictive". She wants me to drop my lawyer and lets settle this amongst ourselves. I am not going to do that because it's not in my best interest. I know that.
It seems very typical when the WAS does not get 'their' way they throw a fit. I know when D was on the table for me my wife constantly would tell me she wanted to D amicably, and I would smile telling her "Yeah provided amicable is now defined as you getting it your way right?" They do have things all laid out in their head and once we LBS start standing up for ourselves it throws them off, confuses them and starts to erode that fantasy of what they dreamed the D would be like
Question - she is so impatient about this D and every time it comes up so says "the clock is ticking J" What does that even mean? She has said this phrase at least 3 times.
Again ... things are not going according to her plan or her schedule, so she is pouting and acting out about it, stay the course.
We did have a covo months ago about her not having the circus freak OW around the kids for a year which she agreed to - that was in September. Is that what she is referring to? Or is she just doing it to push my buttons and telling me to just hurry the F*ck up. Either way, I don't like it - I believe the last time she said it I said "I don't have any control over the legal system" and let that sit with her. Thats the best way to handle it, because its true, you have no control over that nor her.
Who knows for sure, guess it is not worth thinking about but its weird. "The clock is ticking J" - that sounds ominous doesn't it? Am I reading more into it that what it is worth?
The more time I spend apart from her the more I can see how really mean she was/is to me and how much she wants things her way AND how much I did to make it happen to keep her happy. I just don't see any good outcome in this except to for me to "see" her and the "marriage" for what it was.
It was my dream, not hers. She resented having our second child (she told me), she felt trapped, she hated the mini van and everything it represented, She hated our marriage and me and what a prison it was. She was afraid of my reactions, she was mad at my non reactions.
In hindsight, I see she used me, she used me as a meal ticket, a way out, the opportunity to get out of her last relationship (GF not wife).
Did I ever love "her" or did I love what I thought she was? This level of viciousness that she has unleashed is unprecedented and hurts and scares me.
You are right Wonka, I have grown some Melons and we will see what happens.
Right now there are alot of emotions flying around for you ... and for your W. Do not let her rewrite your marriage history, nor take away from the good. But yeah right now she may very well be acting selfish and focused on what she wants, accept that for what it is .. and remember believe nothing they say and only 50% of what they do .. this also applies to the nasty stuff.
