Bright, What you have learned about your h's behavior is typical of someone in crisis. It doesn't matter whether she's married or not, she is someone he is leaning on and sharing moments of fun and drinking with. She is someone "new". It doesn't matter to him if she's slutty or a diva, but she is someone that will take his mind off his issues.
Your man is in full replay. He never left it because he's been on a slow burn and it's taken quite a while for him to get up to speed and begin experimenting w/life, just like a teenager.
Yes, to a normal, rational person who is not in crisis, many of the things that he is doing look stupid to us. We question how he can do these things and the answer is that he is depressed and in crisis. People who are depressed can and will do things that they normally wouldn't do. I am going to suggest that you start reading up on depression for men. It's important that you do so that you can understand some of the why's of what he's doing. Depression plays out just a bit differently for men than it does for women.
So, now you know he's never left replay and things are going to get a bit more interesting, or should I say crazy, for him and it's going to take a while for him to get this "new" experience out of his system. My advice, watch the business finances or any finances that you and him have together and just sit back and watch the show. It's going to be a long one and one that you will question if you even knew him...but remember...he's a man in crisis and people in crisis can do some very strange stuff, i.e., the exact opposite of the man you knew and loved.
Take care of yourself and leave your man in God's hands.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
