My First Break, Light Shines Yonder

[Pyrite]

it just sux. W being so happy makes me feel even worse. i cant help focusing on the "happy ending". what do i want? as in the DR chapter.

i want to save my M. i dont want the R we have had for the past few years. so maybe i should recast this simply as the R i want to have. NOT involving W, because this all seems hopeless for so many reasons. although, i would love for it to be with my W, this shouldn't be my focus?

even then I should back it off to - "who do I want to be in this new R". Then work on that i suppose.

it just sux man. i keep being dragged back down. it becomes about HER again and less about ME. I know you can't and shouldn't BUT what I really want to hear is that she will change her mind. I dont think this will ever happen. The next best thing i would like to hear then is that she will regret it. I dont think this will ever happen either.

I need to turn this around and leave it at "YOU will be OK. YOU will enjoy your life again one day."