I have messed things up with my WAW on several occassions by pressuring her, and didn't realize at the time I was doing it.
So be very careful with anything you say or write. First, ask yourself if it could seem like pressure to your W.
Hi Bob,
Yep, you nailed it. I do believe and understand that my trying to follow the "healing separation" guidelines was putting a lot of pressure on her, because she didn't/doesn't define "healing" the same way I did/do. I really like your idea of first asking myself if what I'm about to say will feel like pressure to W. Thank you so much for that great suggestion.
One of my favorite sayings is "keep your ears open, and you mouth shut."
Right after I submit this post I will read the "Validation Cheat Sheet."
Thanks for your caring and concern brother, Diesel
You're very welcome, Diesel. I have adopted a saying similar to yours "Say little...do much." You are heading in the right diretion!
I was overwhelmed by happiness by the number of folks who posted in my thread today.
In case you missed my big post, I thanked each one of you.
This is what I posted to you:
Diesel, thank you for checking in. How was the cold beer and cigar?
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
