1. I'm concerned that this woman is signing up for all kinds of hurt. She dated a guy 5 years hoping to get married and it sounds like the guy strung her along. They were still dating. It's NOT an affair and if he didn't want her dating other he should have put a ring on it. But her going from that and choosing to soon after consider dating (and talking about honeymoons and step parenting) with a guy that isn't even actually divorced yet is a fairly good indication that this girls picker may be a bit broken.
2. A lot of divorced men rebound into the first relationship with a younger pretty woman they can find as a way to prove to reclaim their self respect and show their ex-wife that they are the man. Divorce rates for 2nd marriages are higher than first marriage AND third marriages for MANY reasons. SLOW DOWN.
3. I'm not saying this might not be a great fit for you and for her and that the odds have to apply to you but get divorced and date around a bit before committing to the first shiny thing you find. You are only 29. Second marriage success is like 30% in 10 years. You don't want to be a 40 year with two ex-wives already paying child support to two women.
4. Your feelings regarding potential recovery with your stbxw diminishing is no surprise. Your love tank for her is draining into your sister's friends love tank at an alarming rate.
GET DIVORCED FIRST.
Typically (I'm not insulting your new friend that I don't know she may really be great) the most healthy well adjusted marriage material women wouldn't date a still married man if their lives depended on it. You've gone through a huge trauma the last year. Think about this...if your sister was interested in a guy in your exact current situation, would you want her pursuing it???
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
