I remember once talking to her and she about jumped down my thought whan I knew that she was a religious person, I really don't even remember what we were talking about. anyway she said I am not religious, I am Christian.
To me being religious means practicing your faith, attending church and I didn't know what religion she followed. So I made the mistake with her by trying to cover what ever faith she was with a general term.
I don't understand her thinking, it is as if she can't do anything to help herself. Yet just sitting and praying is going to fix the marriage?? You guys know the work it takes, asking God for help is normal I believe, but lots of work goes in to it even if we can't save the marriage.
I am not a specific religion, so maybe that is why is seems so different. My grandmother was very strong in her faith but it wasn't always that if we pray things will be fixed. She worked on things too. she was Catholic by the way.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
What denomination is she? The denomination I belong to would be considered by many "legalistic" and we are still being accused of being a cult lol. I know about cults and this ain't it! Anyway, as an example of different ways of thinking, I know that most in my denomination would never "meditate" in the the traditional sense that being to "clear your mind" because when your mind is empty it becomes the devil's playground. Instead they would advocate that you meditate on the words of God (bible verses). So when someone tells someone in my denomination to empty their mind, seeing it as a helpful self help tool an SDA would consider that a nutty suggestion. So what you might see as helpful, your friend may see differently...not that you are suggesting she meditate, it's just a small example that comes to mind. Another is that when I say I'm thinking that dating is best done within my denomination I'm met with people being shocked that I would want to narrow my options like that but there are good reasons...in my mind anyway. Anyway, just my thoughts on the subject. I hope it helps.
Another example would be Sabbath keeping. In my denomination we refrain from many activities e.g.'s chores, shopping etc. from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. I think most would look at our practices as restrictive and therefore "legalistic" but in our minds Sabbath is a gift from God...a time when He says "rest, get to know me, do for others, give thanks" so when you're given a gift you respect the giver by using the gift appropriately...to do otherwise is like tossing it in the garbage So the world would see our practice as restrictive yet we view it as freeing. Anyway, I just thought of that one as another example. I'm done!
(I've never really understood when people put on their dating profiles "spiritual but not religious" Huh?)
I put this down in mine because to me it meant, that while I ascribe to the belief of a GOD (higher power) I am not locked into one specific denomination or religion's set of beliefs. I'm comfortable with my relationship with God and do not attend a specific Church every weekend.
I'm with Wii and Rick on this as to just let things lie. You've offered your help and she apparently isn't interested right now. If she changes her mind then it's on her to approach you.
As for the job thing - I can relate. Heck when I was a youngster, I didn't sit around and dream about doing the kind of work I am employed in now. It just kindof happened. Is it a dream job for me, no. Do I feel fulfilled, not necessarily. However it pays the bills quite well and is part of the tool package to get me to a comfortable retirement and at my age (mid-50's) I can't afford to go off and find a job that I'm passionate about. I'll do that kind of stuff as a volunteer once I've hit my retirement years.
I am with you BA, I believe in God but don't follow a specific religion and don't attend church. So I am spiritual in my way of looking at it.
I ususally have stayed with a job for about seven years, I can't go any further in the company where I am or I hit the brick wall. I have stayed this long only because I need to pay the bills. I don't believe I can take another 7 years of this same job. How people do, I don't know. I have found some comfort in knowing that there are other people like me, we scan different jobs and try to do all the things we enjoy.
Oh why did I say seven years? Because then I can retire from here and do something else yet again. I am trying to find a home based position with the company because I have no desire to move to St Louis where we are headquartered.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
BA, I'd scoop you up in a minute...you've got a car! OK, last word on "spiritual but not religious" (at least on my part). The impression that moniker gives me is that if you follow a specific faith practice then you aren't considered spiritual...you are either spiritual or you are religious, which is untrue. Anyway, enough of that. Kat, I sometimes have periods where I wonder why the heck am I doing what I'm doing. Helping people often feels like I'm just the raw meat society throws these people to keep them busy gnawing on something and when I'm gone they'll toss in another piece! I think we all go through those periods...they come and they go. That doesn't mean you don't take note and take stock but I find examining my life when I feel that way doesn't really lead to anything good. Better to wait till you perk up a bit to really look at things seriously. That's my take.
I have had this feeling for a year. Don't know if it is because I am truly stuck until I find something else or because I refuse to do the same old thing just to get a new job. You know the company may change, the title may change but basically you are doing the same thing.
I want things to shake up once and a while, something creative. Dealing with numbers is pretty much that, dealing with numbers. My boss can be ok or a real pain if it is one of those days when I feel as if I am continually being put down. I am a smart cookie, not trying to have an ego, so I should be able to find something amazing in good ole backwards Topeka, KS, right??
I feel as if I am a bird locked in a cage and I know that in three years I can fly far away if I want to, but part of me will see where the kids are. Feel as if I am waiting to live the life I am meant to live.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
So the world would see our practice as restrictive yet we view it as freeing. Anyway, I just thought of that one as another example. I'm done!