Thanks for responding while at work, but don't want you to get in trouble. Last any of us need in this sitch is career issues on top of marriage issues.
You have given me some excellent advice, so thank you. It is helpful that there is someone on here with a similar perspective to what my H is going through. The card analogy is brilliant!
I will work on showing and truly feeling compassion and empathy for my H. I think I did that through the apology letter I wrote for him. His response to letter was that I did not need to do that and he thinks I think I am entirely to blame for our sitch. Maybe at this stage letter too needy, but DB coach encouraged it. think I am getting there.
What I am having trouble with is balancing detaching with showing compassion. I keep hearing others say I need to completely detach. Ok, I get that, but not sure how much I should respond when he then starts to pursue/initiate. If I don't respond enough/wait for him for to initiate he thinks I am angry. I am also going to seem withdrawn. If I respond too much, then I feel I am condoning his withdrawal/no contact and not protecting myself and my feelings. Where is the balance and how do I respond? How do I set these boundaries? Just in my actions or verbally as well? I feel like any of that can come off as being needy. This is the part I am having the hardest part with.
Thanks again for providing your insight! _________________________________ BW
Me:44 H:41 M and still living together No Children
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
