Toot Toot - here I come!

[Sotto]

Here's a link to my last thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2562830&page=1

Tiny recap. BD1 (EA) March '14. BD2 and S (PA) July '14. Not sure about A status (always been rocky) but H wants a D (April '15)

So, H emailed me today. I'll paraphrase, but this is very much as he wrote it:

*The house is ready to list. Am I happy for him to contact agents now?
*He's sorry to have been slow in thinking and making decisions.
*He needs to make a fundamental decision about how the rest of his life will be.
*Decisions about the future are just impossible for him to make.

*When he thinks about what he wants, he'd like the chance to have children and a family.
*Being a weekend Dad is good. But he feels he should have been part of something bigger.
*He wants to just live in one place, go to school plays and sports lessons

*Because of this he feels our financial settlement should include divorce.
*He loves me. I am beautiful, and the best person to be married to.
*He just can't seem to grow old without trying to have a family one more time.
*He's very sorry.

Just a recap on our history. We met when I was 36 and got engaged/moved in together when I was 39. At that point, we decided to stop using protection and 'see what happened.' We were also bringing up SS part time. SS was 7 then. I never did become pregnant and actually had an early menopause. H never seemed unhappy about this, and I always thought our little family was enough for both of us.

I just don't really get it. Things with OW are rocky. Is she going to bear his kids. Or is he just going to start from scratch to find someone else at age 45? She'll have to be much younger. And want kids, and be fertile. And happy to become a third wife after his second M ended from infidelity. It's almost like a king desperate for an heir. Is it me, or is it all a bit of a pipe dream?

I feel our M is suffering now as a result of H's former M ending and him being a part time Dad. He feels he's missed out on the full family experience.

I have been reading Men in Midlife Crisis again. In this, the replay stage is called 'one more time.' One more time with one more woman. One more time with his kids when they were only children. Another shot at the young married life. I'm in midlife, but this is a last grasping attempt to turn back the pages of time. If a man feels he has not really experienced what he wants in life, there will be a great urgency to regress. If faced with a choice between the marriage and 'one more time' the marriage will always lose.

Any thoughts. I'm feeling okay, but I'll need to respond at some point. I think it may be best to keep it brief. He already knows I love him and D isn't what I want.