Zelda - hang me up to dry

[Zues126]

Agreed. Validate your feelings. Work through them.

And you're right. If a dog bites your hand you shouldn't try to pet it again unless you have reason to show that it has changed.

But if a dog bit you you probably wouldn't be angry at it.

Trust me...I get it. The betrayal of marital vows to me is the most destructive choice that anyone could make. And when you are that hurt, betrayed, and devastated, it is natural to feel angry at the one that made that decision. My IC says "Anger is just pain transformed into a feeling easier to handle". So yes, this is necessary to deal with an overwhelming amount of emotion.

I guess what I'm saying is just recognize that's what's going on, that you're working through emotions. Don't believe everything they tell you is "true". Your emotions are true. His behavior is destructive, true as well. But carrying that on to "he is a bad guy, I am better off without him, good riddance"...that's where people let their emotions become the boss of them dictating your beliefs and behavior, instead of running their own ship and having their emotions work FOR them by helping them through tough situations and giving you feedback on what works and doesn't.

Wishing you the best, fellow Z.