Trying to Follow DB & DR (3)

[Miman2]

Journaling:

So my trip is almost at an end. Heading back home in a couple of hours.

Yesterday's interview went rather well I think. I'm surprised I didn't break down in the middle of it. I guess I had enough going on with meeting new people every 30 mins. or so. That helped keep my mind busy enough that I didn't start to wonder back to thoughts about the W.

The first IC I saw through work called at lunch to check up on me to make sure the new IC she referred me to was working out well. I told her how we seemed to be stuck in crisis management and how we're just now starting to work on issues, and how I've even looked around a bit to see if I couldn't find someone else before deciding to give my current IC a bit more of a chance.

I tried the Headspace app last night before bed. It was so relaxing I fell asleep a bit while the narrator was quiet. By the time it was done I was more than ready for bed. I woke up a couple of times in the night last night but maybe not as often as I have been.

Waiting around this morning to head back is a bit tough. After breakfast I came back to my room and just had this overwhelming urge to cry. I don't think I was even really thinking about the W or the sitch. I guess I was feeling a bit lonely and depressed. I had even taken my meds this time.

Spent a bit of time this morning trying to take care of me as best as I could while being out of my own environment. Read up on some other people's sitches, read some religious blogs, did some Meetup planning and a little online shopping around. The distractions help a bit, writing it down now helps quite a bit more as well.

I vaguely remember thinking about the W and the sitch first thing this morning and finding myself get angry and upset about things. At this point I can't even remember what specifically I was getting upset about. The only thing I can think of is maybe it was her unwillingness to work on things.

I have another phone interview at a new employer tomorrow. Tonight I'm looking forward to getting home and hopefully I haven't been robbed blind by the W while I was gone. By the time I get back there won't be a whole lot of time to get out and do any GAL tonight, but I guess I have a whole weekend to look forward to.