I'm not holding onto a lot of hope here with him, he's a stubborn man, and I am his 2nd wife. I am realistic. He did this to his first wife also, with the exception that he was very young then, and she had cheated on him with the man she's married to now. Before they were divorced, he ran into the arms of a very dysfunctional woman, and that relationship was very short lived as well........same thing as his current relationship is now....I'm telling you all, this lady is CRAZY!
So don't take this the wrong way but what does this say about YOU?
Cadet, I'm still curious what you meant by this?
When I first got here, I did not understand all the advice I was being given.
Like - Look in the mirror and make yourself a better person. I think to myself - Cadet you are awesome why would anyone divorce YOU? What changes in myself would I make to be better? I really struggled with this, as I read different threads and saw all the cheating, drinking, lying, drugs that were going on. I thought, none of that is me, or my STBXW. So what am I going to change and WHY?
I ended up discovering that I and most people here, are codependent, fixers, conflict avoiders and pursurers.
So I said to myself, here is what I must work on.
Another words, it is kind of like the alcoholic who says I am going to do a 180 and stop drinking hard liquor, only beer and prescription drugs from now on. Is this the right change(180), ummm NOPE.
SO - a long explanation - to try to get you to think about what do YOU need to change?
