Thanks Fogg. You hear it over and over in the forum, but it is sooo hard to detach when you are under the same roof. My wife spent the last hour or so texting OM. Then she comes over to me at 11PM, while I am in the middle of doing work on my computer, and wants help planning for my S13s Bar-mitzvah.
I have such a difficult time not being snide and rude towards her. It takes so much effort to just make eye contact with her. I have such a distaste and negative feelings towards her whenever she is near me. I know I should try to be civil and friendly like I would treat a stranger. I do this all the time at work - for instance when I am caring for a patient or family that I am not too fond of - Yet, I can't seem to fake it with my W. I am a bit ashamed of it, but my disdain for her oozes through my every pore. That is why I choose to avoid her most of the day. I treat her like she is invisible. I know this is not consistent with DB best practices. I know that this will not make me more attractive and that it will not give her any incentive to end her A. I know that this behavior may alienate her children from her. But I also know that my ego is still hurting badly. She acts so normal - as if nothing is happening.
reminder to self: I REALLY HAVE TO STOP LOOKING AT HER PHONE USAGE!!!! Why does the LBS do this? Why the morbid curiosity? From where does that powerful urge to spy and snoop come from? It certainly does not help.
I need a lot of help. Thanks for listening, whoever is out there.
