I was at lunch with a co-worker that was really fascinated about what I'd gone through over the last year. First off, he was really impressed with the way I've handled things, and I was like "you know what, I have done a pretty good job". I don't give myself credit enough because I'm not perfect. But I've handled myself pretty darn well.
But the funny part was I started talking about how I'd gotten closer with my kids, been showing them a strong example, becoming a spiritual leader in my family, doing well in my new job and providing, and just stepping up over all. I talked about how I've never been tighter with my kids and I could tell they needed me to be strong for them, that I was allowing them to breath deeper and walk taller.
And I found myself saying "Yeah, this has been like the best year ever".
After I said it I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth. I mean really? Was I delusional? This has been the most horrible thing I've ever experienced, and it has hurt me more deeply and irreversibly than I thought was possible. What was I talking about?
But that's what I said. And even if I am conflicted at times, I realized I have come a long ways if that's even in my spectrum of outlooks.
I recalled a Ted Talk by Dan Gelb. He talks about natural happiness vs. synthesized happiness. If you haven't seen it you are *REQUIRED* to watch at least the first 8 minutes (look it up on youtube). He talks about the "Glorious experience" of going to jail, and the paraplegic/lottery situation. So I knew this was possible. It's just cool to see it play out this way.
Thank you DB.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
