Back again, advice needed..

[Zues126]

I'm sorry Tulo. We all know the feeling and it is about as low as it gets.

He is telling you your R is over. Yes, he's been conflicted. But he's trying to leave you. Seducing him, guilting him, etc, that might work for an hour in a moment of weakness, but you can't win him back that way.

Really there are many things you can't control here. All you can control is how you respond. But it helps to understand where your emotions are coming from so you can put them aside and respond from a higher place, a spiritual place.

Emotions are typically from the grieving process:
*DENIAL- It's not over yet, surely he'll change his mind, this can't be happening, etc.
*ANGER- HOW COULD HE!?!?!?!
*BARGAINING- What can I do differently to prevent this, there must be a way!
*DEPRESSION- I can't live without him, I want him to know that.

OK. That's a short example. But it's normal to be overwhelmed with those feelings.

Now you need to set them aside. What's the right thing to do? Act according to your beliefs and character. So my advice for any conversation would be to filter out the garbage and just listen, validate, and wish him the best. There's nothing else you can do that will help your sitch right now. Only things you can do to make it much worse.

Outside of interacting with him, it's time to do some work on yourself. DB/DR talk about 180s, LRT, etc. It is a time to reflect on your behavior during the M. And personally it is time to reflect on what your beliefs are, which is why I asked you the questions I did above.

For now, you can back burner that for 24 hours until you get through this meeting. After that I'd suggest you go dark and just work on yourself. There's no quick fix and no way to avoid a long, painful journey. You can either benefit from it and have a chance of R down the road, or you can avoid it and repeat it.

Breath and have faith.